It's All Good Baby!
09/24/2021 11:09pm
Hello! Hi! Hey, how are ya?!? Are you feeling good? I hope you are. I feel as though I am. You wanna know something crazy though? I literally just fucked up BUT I'm ok with it. Let me explain below.
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I said in my last post that I was eating more healthily & quitting lighting it up. Right? Y'all remember that. That was two days ago. Welp, I just burnt up, ate some leftover Chinese food & Uber Ate some fried Oreos and a Cookies & Cream milkshake. Do I feel like a piece of human garbage? Surprisingly, not even a little bit. Let me explain below.
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On Sunday, when I decided to start living better, I knew this wouldn't be easy. Of course, I fumbled down into something that I said I wanted to rise above. I fucked up but it's ok. Why? Because at least I started, got 6 days in, & consciously decided to give myself a cheat day. It's ok! I don't feel like a piece of shit for indulging today because I know that my mission has not changed. I'm living better whether I like it or not. I still did my lil morning protein drink, and after I finish typing down this bad boy, I'm gonna fix myself a nice cup of tea. I'm still moving with the intent to change but I'm human. Humans are designed to fix our own problems, one way or the other.
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I know that it takes time to fix habits and honestly, I can be patient. I want to live better so I will. So what if I fuck up with myself? I'm gonna beat myself up about it? No!!! I'm gonna embrace the consequences like a man and win regardless. I already know what the consequences are gonna be. One extravagant reverse excavation!!!! But it's ok!! I haven't had a challenging one of those in a minute. I need a toughie.
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Also, you wanna know something so dope about this lil slip up. I CONSCIOUSLY got a Cookies and Cream milkshake with my fried Oreos because I wanted to give my stomach the common theme of cookies and cream. Why? The body processes similar foods better. Ohhh, you didn't even know I did my research! Well, guess what! I'm taking this gut health thing seriously. I stopped having tummy aches! Treating yourself well is really the wave. It's so nice! You gotta give yourself that love that you need.
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I hope everyone is doing well and succeeding like how they would like to. I'm over here just tryna maintain my own peace. It's not always the easiest but who would I be if I didn't make the attempt? No AT! Not me!
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Anyways, this song is so dope. It makes me feel like a jellyfish but not like a real one. A SpongeBob one. The blue one in that episode where Mr. Krabs abused the jellyfish population for their jelly. Honestly, Mr. Krabs was a nasty man. Money can't possibly mean more to anyone else. At that point, he's not even rich. He's poor with a bunch of money. That episode really made me dislike that guy. Also, apparently, Krabby Patties are made of other crabs. That's why Mr. Krabs is the only crab in Bikini Bottom. I guess it's like crabs in a barrel, "But crabs don't belong in a barrel. They don't tell you that." Whatever, screw Mr. Krabs. That blue jellyfish was awesome. I'm happy SpongeBob woke up and saw what was going on. The truth will always win!
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Ok, well, I'm gonna go and do something cool. I don't really know what but something that'll make me happy. I have been working all week. It's Friday! "HAAAAN, I just wanna chiiiiill!!!" I might crack on a movie or play my PS2. I'm really a boring single man with exciting tendencies. Am I fun? Idk but I like to have fun. Fun within reason. I will not partake in smoking crack. That's not fun to me. A spelling bee? That's fun to me! Make sure that the spelling bee is like regular words though. I'm not spelling some extra ass word for no reason.
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Anyways, in conclusion, it's ok to fuck up. Forgive yourself & the rest will fall in line. Just make sure that you're attempting to be better everyday. I'm still gonna wake up tomorrow and live better. You should too. This life we live is meant to do us well. We're allowed to fuck up and still see amazing things. It's okay! You are still loved.
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Stay Sexy,
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AT, Papa Bear
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P.S: I'm going to improve. Idk if you gave up on me but I KNOW I didn't give up on myself soooooo...... <33333333 & a 5 piece is coming very very soon ;-)
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One Man Party Bus
09/22/2021 12:07am
THE ROOF! THE ROOF! THE ROOF IS ON FIRE! We probably need some water because this house is an investment. Although I have fire insurance, I don't want to have to move to another residence to remodel my roof because I didn't take the time to put out an easily controllable fire. Fire safety is important, y'all. Only you can prevent wildfires. Anyways, how are you all that are reading this? Y'all good? Y'all iight? That's great. If you are feeling badly, remember that you're never doing as bad as you think you are. Believe me when I say that people, from the bottom to the top, are literally just figuring it out because things keep changing. Some of us are just better at adjusting than others. Don't feel bad about that though. Being good at adjusting to situations is a trauma response that stems from childhood chaos. I won't get into the specifics of that because I'm not a therapist. I'm just a guy who makes music & blogs about life.
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Why am I blogging today, you ask? Well, I had Chipotle about 90 minutes ago and I get heartburn/acid reflux if I lie down after eating. It can get bad. Lately, I have been so focused on my gut health because 1) Being chubby hurts & 2) I need to give myself something else to improve on. I've added two drinks that have been cleansing my body immensely over the past week. The first thing I drink in the morning is a concoction of a plant-based protein powder, water, and liquid chlorophyll. Fam, my skin has been more even colored and my stomach barely ever hurts during the day. I also have way more energy. I can feel "my body gettin' rid of them toxins" and honestly, it's giving Vegan Vegan. Idk if I would fully convert to vegan but look, if this keeps getting better, I might go on a lil vegan date with a lil somebody or come up with a few plant-based recipes for the headtops. You never know what might happen but anyways. The second drink I have been having is a Lemon & Ginger tea with cinnamon and honey. This does absolute WONDERS on the gut. Not only does it help your stomach settle, but it also makes you just a lil bit skinnier. Now look, my guys, my women, my people, we all want to look good. If you drink this tea I just told you about, watch your bloating go away in a few days. You'll feel lighter too.
Also, another thing I am trying to do is slow down on my love for Mary. Look Mary & myself have been together, on & off, for years now and I truly think that it is time for us to go our separate ways. I moved into my own crib & completely over-consumed Mary. I wasted way too much money and, most importantly, time on this habit that does not serve me at all. It was hurting my body, especially my gut. I've actually been injured for weeks off of just coughing and straining a muscle. I felt like I was really destroying my body, especially my gut health. I'm never saying that I will quit because let's be honest here: once an addict, always an addict. I just won't do it all the time. I know I don't need to smoke anymore. There's other ways to relieve yourself of the worldly troubles. However, that buzzy feeling is literally so hard. So, all I will say to y'all is indulge in moderation & be kind to yourself when it comes to Mary. She'll take advantage of you like the woman in "Black Dog" by Led Zeppelin if you let her.
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Since I don't want this to be an anti-Mary slander post, which it's not, I want to talk about something else. Another step I've taken in improving my life is updating my apartment. I copped a bamboo mattress pad and let me tell something about that bamboo mattress pad. I went to sleep for literally 15 minutes at 5pm and woke up at 7:45pm. Idk how that happened but it did and I'm not mad about it. I can't wait to sleep on that mf after I post this. I have the mattress pad for now but once I cop a bigger crib, the whole mattress is gonna be bamboo for Mama Bear, & me, Papa Bear! Just a pair of rich Pandas.
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Ok, ok, I'll save my typing of words for another day. To close out, I'd like to say that there are people out there that will try and undermine who you are because they don't understand, or even like, themselves. What you need to do is shake it off and keep it pushing! No one can really make or break you. You have worked way too hard to let someone who doesn't understand you & your journey affect you. The reality of the matter is that some people are literally losers. They choose to lose. They aren't worth the issue that they might try & bring to your doorstep. Why? Because they will probably lose at that too. LOSERS! We win over here. I've never even heard that Beck song. I just know about it because of some VH1 90s Top 100 (which I severely miss BTW). Don't let a hater ever get to you. They can hate you all day but at the end of their day, they just hate themselves! Remember who you are and excel beyond what others think of you. You'll always succeed.
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Spread some real love on 9/22/2021! You already know AT been on that type of time! Join the party! We may not have Mary but we have MaryMary on the playlist!
Light It Up
09/18/2021 10:00pm
What is going on you beautiful, beautiful people. I'm reporting to you live from my very new MacBook Pro. I've had an interesting day. I finally got the time to see a few people I don't get the chance to see all the time and who doesn't love those days? This new laptop has absolutely been the highlight of my week. I ordered it on like Wednesday and it finally came. I decided to cop a new laptop because my old one was literally 6 years old. I have been producing, recording, & engineering my entire catalogue on a computer distributed in 2015. I knew I needed to upgrade my laptop because I'm massively upgrading my lifestyle. I cannot make music and write, effectively, with a booty cheeks computer. I'm tryna give you all the best content I'm able to provide and in order to do that, I need to provide myself with the best. I don't mind doing that for myself because I LOVE MYSELF <3
Honestly, I was going to write something tomorrow morning but I was too eager to get started with work. Nothing gets you motivated like receiving new equipment to work with. That's why I super fw with the kids that are hitting diabolical/devious licks on their school. These kids are forcing the schools to provide them with new material. America does not invest enough in the education of the our children and as a result of their lack of care, the children are acting out. I would tell them to stop doing so but sometimes, people don't listen to peace when they're fed up. I just hope that none of these kids snitch on each other & stay solid. I saw a video of a teacher offering $200 for a student's head (figuratively, of course). Instead of being a jerk and putting $200 on a student's head, how about you take that $200 and invest in something positive for these kids, who desperately need that, obviously. I swear some people become teachers to terrorize children. So, I will stand in my support of diabolical licks within the education system.
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Diabolical licks happen everywhere if you aren't careful. Something happened within the entertainment industry today where a well known figure in the industry got exposed, publicly on Clubhouse, for being a "fraud", which essentially means she acted funny with some money. Hearing about this stuff is the reason I navigate this industry dolo. I consciously chose to be alone in my journey for right now because there are SOOOOO many people in this industry that are bad actors (double entendre). I have met people who have done weirdo shit in my life but when I really got into the entertainment industry, it got way weirder. Honestly, it doesn't bother me as much as I know it should but that's because I avoid these type of people. I don't do it for me. I do it for them. I'm one of those people who react. By no means do I jack thug or criminal or whatever but I'm extremely smart. I'm getting that money back one way or another. I've seen some nasty things people do for money. For example, I've seen managers sign their artists to terrible deals because it brought them a cheap check and a lil sip of success. Nasty, nasty, nasty but it is literally none of my business. I just want to warn artists who may read this and want to grow in the industry. There are a decent amount of people in industry that don't mean you well as an artist. You are just another cog in the system for them. Make sure that you invest in yourself deeply before bringing in all of these energies that you think will make you famous. Fame shouldn't be the goal because it's so easy to become famous. The goal should be to create effectively, but freely enough to live your best life. Music is supposed to be fun. It's not something that is GOING to get you out the hood, although there is a possibility that it COULD if you work extremely hard and love what you do.
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However, there are people in this industry that seemingly put the music first. For example, there is a festival being run by a BLACK WOMAN! that goes by H.E.R. & it's called "Lights On Festival" in Cali. This festival is going on today and tomorrow and again for 2 days in the Barclays Center in October. Again, let me reiterate that this is a black woman is running this festival. Her team, MBK Entertainment, is such a force in the music industry and every time I see them make a move, whether it be this festival or a new artist, they always handle their work and most importantly, their people with class. I respect that because you don't always get the chance to see that in the industry unless you pay attention. One more time for the people in the back, just in case they didn't hear it:
A BLACK WOMAN HAS H.E.R. OWN FESTIVAL IN H.E.R. HOME STATE!
It's so dope to see people living out their dream, especially when it appears as though they deserve it. I always feel good about people receiving their fruits.
Anyways, I just had to write a lil something on my new MacBook, baby!! I don't have much to say except that I hope you enjoy the rest of YOUR weekend. If you see me out here in these streets, make sure you approach me with love because Lord knows I could use some. I don't wish to have a "roster" because that's a distraction, but I know I could use a hug. I'm too callous at times but I'm a product of my environment. A childhood in NY is a traumatic childhood. I have some stuff to work through but I don't see myself or others as "broken". I see us all as works in progress. Kinda like a lifelong Bob Ross painting. We slowly turn into the people we want to become by taking action towards the things we want. Hopefully, you don't want bad things because then you'll become a bad actor (tripled ;-)
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Love & Peace
From the East to the West,
If you're spreading love today,
Just know that you're the BEST!
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-AT
The Bet Gala
09/16/2021 7:50am
Good Morning fellow humans! I hope you are feeling very human today! I feel mad human today. You know humans are capable of so much? We can do a lot. We just have to make the most out of our 24. I've been up since 4am, just rallying. I don't really sleep much at night because I enjoy myself a nice nap. In a moment of awareness, I want to tell you that nap time absolutely spoiled me from early on. Why were we allowed to sleep in school and then just stop? Nah, if there is one thing I will always make time for, it's a nap. I know that naps, when utilized correctly, can make you so much more productive. Don't abuse naps though. Just like everything else, too much of anything is not great. You gotta balance yourself out ~~~~
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THE MET GALA happened this past Monday. Everyone did the damn thing on that carpet. Rihanna pulled up "HARD!" like always and you have to love her for that. I liked A$AP Rocky's quilt. I think I understand the concept? I thought it was dope. Yara Shahidi went CRAAAAAAAAZY with her outfit. I was like woah! Shoutout to her people for putting that together. She looked great. Kendall pulled up swagged out as always. Kim was too wavy to show her face and I respect tf outta that.
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Honestly, I don't think anyone gave a fuck about the theme. Personally, I absolutely did/do. If that Met Gala in May 2022 actually happens and it's still American fashion, get my invite ready. Not only would my fit be dope & on-theme, I will also be making sure that that party is phenomenal.
"THE BET GALA"
Anyways, that's in a decent amount of months. I'm focused on the right here, right now, which is ironic because due to a little bit of a depression stint, I became a fatboy slim. It's all good though. Why? Because I have a gym membership and Drake dropped "Way 2 Sexy". Are you kidding me? I have to get better. I'm too sexy for this depression gut. I'M TOO SEXY FOR THIS DEPRESSION!!! I hope you feel me on that. I don't let depression win against me but that mf got crazy hands. Mine are better though, plus I know BJJ, so depression can't stop a real one. Look at how many of us woke up today and fought our depression! Keep doing that. Life is literally what you make it. Overcome your sadness. It'll benefit you in the long run.
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Another thing. I wanna just give a shoutout to someone. I don't know how many readers watch wrestling but this is my platform so I don't care whatcha say about it! Shoutout to Big E, the WWE champion at this current moment. He's worked for that title and I honestly respect how hard he worked for it. Wrestlers go through a lot to get to where they are and Big E has worked for this. He's going to do a great job and be the star that he was always meant to become. It's just wonderful to see.
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Lastly, I wanna let y'all know that in the next few months, I will be dropping a decent amount of music. I've been feeling a way lately and I have the platform to express myself through my art so I will do so. I set goals at the top of the year and I intend on hitting them. I'm just having fun wittdit!!!
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I hope everyone takes a step closer towards love today <3
Mental Break-Up
09/07/2021 9:21pm
YOOOOOOOO I am in rare form tonight! I'm feeling cute off the Sunkist Orange and Casamigos & I'm belting VSOP by K. Michelle. Who broke my heart? Way too many people, dawg, so WE ROLLIN! Anyways, I feel great. Earlier, I did this practice where I wrote down who I am and when I tell you gassed??? Sometimes, you need to literally remind yourself who you are. You, the beautiful reader, are uniquely curated by God and yourself. You gotta show love to yourself. Do some of the shit that makes the best version of yourself happy.
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Alright, before I get into what I wanna get into, let me say a few things about #CLB by Drake. I'm not gonna say too much because I'm not gonna gossip & critique on my blog but I'll say this. Drake is the funniest rapper to ever exist. Honest to God, I never thought I'd hear "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred sampled in a hip-hop song. That is some high level backpack rapper nerd shit. A huge round of applause from me because my goodness! There's also another song on there where we all know he's mad right about something. If you know what I'm talking about, you know but if you don't, just leave it alone. Drake really is a hilarious mf & he proved it on this album. He has to run it up in a movie, for the culture.
Ok, on to the real deal Holyfield. The reason why I had to do an emergency self-love day is because I noticed that I was doing something that I wasn't ok with when I noticed it. I kept letting my mind run INSANE about a certain situation and it almost led me into a major self-sabotage, where I would have messed up something I really care about. I don't self-sabotage often so I'm grateful that I was able to realize this. I realized my lack of patience & attachment within a situation is what was making my mind go crazy.
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My mom always tells me "Patience is a virtue." and honest to God, I know it is now. I had to really confront my patience issues in order to grow. There's so much I wanna do but I'll never get to do it if I allow my impatience to control me. Let me give you some game about patience. If you are feeling impatient about anything, no matter how far away, just do something else that's similar to that thing. It'll help with the feeling you long for. Who knows? It might even bring that thing closer to you.
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Attachment is also another problem I have because I enjoy being attached to situations that I enjoy but certain things require you to release your attachment. Attachment to outcomes leads to major disappointments. I was attached to this situation for an extended period of time and now, it's so hard to shake off. Mostly because I don't want to but I have to. It only drifts my mind. What will be will be. It's cliche but true. Sometimes, summer is colder than expected.
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Speaking of summer, how we let that mf leave so fast. I had no idea that we would be falling into autumn like this. I like Fall though. First of all, Spooky Season. I don't know who's daughter is going to be watching Halloweentown 2 with me but we're watching the whole movie. If you wanna "chill", wait until after, ok? I like to commentate movies and make jokes. After though? Aha ha! Anyways, I also like Fall because it's always the beginning of new stuff. It seems like everyone who dates always kicks it off in the Fall. I guess that's why they call it "falling in love." Damn, y'all booin' & got the tomatoes out? Y'all didn't like the joke? Anyways, cop you a pumpkin spice latte, take your shorty on a pumpkin patch situation, & enjoy your Autumn. I know I will.
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Alrighty dighty! Thank you for checking in on the kid. Even though I don't know exactly who reads this, I'm still grateful that you check in. Make sure that you leave what you need to in the Summer and Fall into something greater.
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AT For Prez <3
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