Hello World!! How is everyone doing?? I'm really hoping well. Me? You know how I do. Rain or shine, I'ma flex mine with a blessed mind, you feel me? You know what it is! Anyways, I've been thinking about when I went to Tennessee during Columbus Day weekend last year to visit a law school. I said in a post last year that I would talk about Jolene & how wild of a song it was. Obviously, time flew & I grew. Now, I have a way more insane perspective on this song. To commemorate the 1 year anniversary of one of the best vacations I've ever been on, lets get into Queen Dolly & her hit "Jolene".

 

Ok, first of all, let me say this. If you're this severely pressed about someone taking your significant other, they are either waaaay too touchable, or you are too insecure for a relationship at the time. You should never be too pressed about someone taking your partner. If someone wants to stay, they most definitely will. If they want to leave, lowkey, that is not your problem. At that point, you might as well show them the door because they are going to make your life so miserable. Imagine living with someone you know wants to leave you for someone else. Personally, if someone I was dating wanted to leave, I'ma just let you go. I already have stomach issues & I refuse to be stressed about some shit like that. If someone wants to go off & live life with another person, go ahead. I'm not keeping you around me if you want to be somewhere else. I'm too ill for that. However, once I marry my wife, neither of us are going anywhere. My marriage is going to be a 720 deal. In my future marriage, WE ARE LOCKED IN! I'm gonna marry someone who I know is deadass "death do us part" though, so I'm not really pressed fr. However, I digress. If this is Dolly's man, she gotta stand up & show bro who's really boss. Honestly, that's the way to shut that down. People cheat on people they know they can get away with cheating on. If Dolly laid down the law in some type of way, her man would have been like "Ok, mama!" Instead, she comes to Jolene "as a woman" & begs her not to take her man.

Girl, STAND UP!

There is no way you should let this man get away with playing in your face like that. Jolene was not the problem. Jolene was just a bad bitch with a mean streak. YOUR MAN was the problem. Bro was in THEIR bed calling out Jolene & had Dolly worried about her. In reality, Jolene was NOT pressed about homeboy. Jolene was most likely a beautiful single woman looking to explore her sexuality with other single people. Jolene probably seen't Dolly's man & thought he was COOORNY.

Let's call him Keith.

I already know Keith was at work when he saw Jolene on her first day of her new accounting job. Instantly, Keith started working on the jokes & trying to make her smile. Ironically, while Jolene was filling out her HR paperwork for first day onboarding, Keith cornered her with his corned-beef-hash breath. He kept hounding her about who she was & asking to show her around. As a beautiful woman, Jolene was used to men being like this around her, so she just let him show her around the job at a distance. During the tour, Keith was getting real extra: picking up things to look strong, saying he has more clout than he actually does, dirty-macking on the other men at the job, & trying to do favors for Jolene so that she'll owe him later. You know, trying to be in her face & shit. Jolene, being a socially smart & sexually aware girl, curved him with a myriad of "Oh really?"s, "Wow"s & fake laughs. She wanted to file some sort of complaint, but this was the 70s & HR was a joke back then. All she could do was continue to fake laugh & try to avoid him. Being a corny man, Keith took her fake laughing as him having incredible rizz. Keith took this false confidence home to sweet ol' Dolly, who cooked him that corned-beef-hash for breakfast & a meatloaf (his favorite) for dinner. Over the dinner table, Keith is boasting about making this beautiful girl with "auburn hair, iris skin, & emerald green eyes" laugh, but he never says her name. Dolly, being in love, feels a lil something in her stomach, but she suppresses it. Keith, being an unappreciative & unaware scrub, eats his meal, watches Johnny Carson, & goes to sleep without acknowledging his wife's love & hard work for their family. Dolly is up in bed, wondering why things are seemingly weird, until her ears hear something shockingly uttered in Keith's sleep: "Jolene". Now, Dolly gets that pain in her stomach, but worse.

"Who's Jolene? Why have I never heard of this bit-... young lady."

Keith just rolls over & continues to dream about someone he just met. In the morning, Dolly didn't have breakfast ready, but she did have some questions ready. She questioned Keith, & Keith deflected. Now, she's mad; real real mad. She told him that she WILL be dropping him to & picking him up from work. After a silent car ride, Dolly & Keith pull up to Keith's job. In a matter of incredible timing, Jolene pulls up at the same time. She sees Keith & immediately kisses her teeth, covers her face & rushes towards the entrance to avoid him. Keith, who we've already established as corny, yells out "Hey Jolene! Great day we had yesterday!" Dolly is now extremely confused, hurt, & pissed off. After dropping Keith off, she rushes over to RCA Studio B & almost crashes her car into the building again. She grabbed Bob Ferguson & got to venting about Jolene. This was the 1970s way of "I'm coming to you as a woman". I feel so bad for Jolene because, now, Jolene can't even go to the bar without hearing this song & people thinking she's a jezebel. Why?

Because of a corny man!

Keith's corny ass ruined the lives of two separate women due to him trying to be extra. He was mad takable & Dolly never knew that. It's crazy because Dolly never knew she was always too ill for Keith, but Keith was just around & knew her. She couldn't see past Keith because Keith was all in her face, like he was with Jolene. Whole time, Jolene was only pressed about a gentleman like AT.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Avoid corny people.

Corny people will bring you down with their corn if you let them. Some people truly suck & if you're not careful about putting up boundaries, they can bring you into some bullshit that you never wanted to be in. Jolene should've left Keith where he was at once she realized she didn't like him. Keith would've never had the opportunity to say he knows Jolene if she never gave him the chance to get to know her. That's why you always let someone know who they are to you, whether it be a friend, coworker, or someone you want nothing to do with. If you don't want to say it, show it through your actions. Keith was a big ball of corn with a gravitational pull, & Jolene, as well as Dolly, got stuck in his (c)or(n)bit.

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Damn, shoutout to Jolene. Alright, I'm about to watch WWE Raw & make some dinner for myself. As you may know, ATMIX II coming soon. Keep it real & keep it positive with yourself. Anything you want in this life, go & get. Be respectful & AVOID THE CORN! Love the life you were blessed with & give your shoutouts to God because you never know. God might shoutout back!

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Best,

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AT

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