Hello!!! How's everyone doing on this fine June day during this fine year of 2021? Great, I'm hoping. I wanted to write something quickly before I go to sleep because I've been lying in bed for like 3 hours thinking about this topic and I could not sleep before I write this. So let's get into it.....

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Have you ever been so struck by someone that they left an impression on you for years? Whether you've dated or not, above gender, just person to person, you just cannot get this person out of your head. No matter how hard you try, you just can't do it for some reason. Like fam, what is that??? There has to be some metaphysical reason for a soul tie like that. 

"Fucking with you feel like jail"

The soul tie isn't even the worse part. It's that you can't even fully give yourself to someone else because you are stuck on a person who may or may not be for you. It can feel crippling at times when you really don't need to feel crippled at the time. Honestly, I feel like a lot of this stems from miscommunication.

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No matter what it is. Whether it's an ex, a current relationship or someone you would like to build a future with, that miscommunication is the root of all confusion. There have been times in my life when I wish I would have said something differently or said something at all. These blurps of miscommunication has always led me into situations that were less than ideal for what I wanted out of my life. I guess the Universe knew I wasn't ready for certain things but damn!! These experiences in my life have forced me to always make my correct move whenever I feel called to do so. (I emphasize "my" because not every decision I make that's correct for me is correct for everyone else.) I don't want any other bad miscommunication habits to come up when I run into my wifey because when you know, you really just know. 

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As a matter of fact, would you guys like to hear a small story about me and this woman who absoulutely got me? Let me preface this story by saying that "being stunned" isn't something I'm always getting myself into. If you stun me, you did some ill shit to me and we gotta get to the bottom of that together. 

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Anyways, towards the end of 2018, a truly golden year in music, I met this woman at an event who absoulutely electrified me. Honestly, I wasn't even going to pull up but I was bored so I ended up going just to experience something different. As soon as I pull up, I feel this weird energy like I'm supposed to be there, not like I chose it, but I brush that off because I don't like to linger on emotions for too long. I meet this woman and at first, I don't really see her because it was dark. I asked her a couple questions that were instinctively pulled out of mouth to try and uplift her in front of the room. It was dark but I noticed her smile was on some other shit. (STRIKE 1!) Then, I didn't get to talk to her again because she had to work the event but while she was working, we looked at each other by complete accident, and on everything I cherish, I've never felt like that before and I haven't ever since then. It was like pure electricity. (STRIKE 2!!) I had to catch myself outside of my body to analyze what really just happened. It was really some other shit. So, while she's working and I'm being mad impressed at her skills (because I have a lil experience in her field), I'm trying to figure this whole thing out while remaining present at this event. Unrelated, I had to leave briefly to handle something but I came back!! When I came back, I already knew the type of time I was on: I wanted her! I got my lil shot of tequila and proceeded to move around the event and talk to a few other people about stuff related to the event. When I finally saw her again, geeked wasn't even the word but I had to play it cool, very cool. Well, needless to say, she broke those walls down easily and my inner dork was fully exposed but I didn't feel exposed. I felt welcome. (STRIKE 3!!! COME GET THIS LOVE, SHORTY) 

After the event, I had to leave but she was still working and I wanted to respect her job. Not everyone wants to be pulled up on during work and I understand that. At what cost though? I left without exchanging information or even sharing a joke so I can see that smile again. I haven't been able to speak to her since but I genuinely haven't felt the same since then. You want to know the craziest part about all of this? Most of our communication felt spiritual because we barely spoke but I know when someone is connected to me. It's kinda like when you feel eyes on you but her raw energy was so tough that I felt it. I wish I could say I'm imagining this but when someone influences you this much, you know its something real.

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I hope you take notice of the fact that I never stated how she felt about the whole thing because I don't know. I can only tell you my POV and I won't speak for her because I could have been just another person, which would be fine because I understand. I've had people like me that I wasn't really feelin. It happens. I'm never pressed about rejection. I can eat rejection for lunch and shit out success by 6pm. 

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Anyways, this woman, a beautiful, intelligent, abundant black woman, struck my heart to the point where I'm typing this essay like a loser but I really don't care. When you make a mistake like that, it forces you to say how you feel more often than not. Sometimes, I wish it never happened but then I realized how special of a situation that was. Many people don't get to experience that. Even if I never run into shorty again, I can't be mad. I can only wish her the absoulute best.

But........ if she's reading this and wants to slide, the universe will make it happen. I never run out of water.